FULL FRONTAL NERDITY

The first leg of the 2021 “Fates on Tour” adventure was a trip to Portland to attend the Rose City Comic Convention. Suffice it to say, as a lifelong fanatic of pop culture, Star Wars, horror, Harry Potter and many other aspects of nerd-dom, I was ready to get my dork on!

GLORY DAYS

Sadly, I had not been to a comic-related convention in nearly 15 years. Back in the day, I was in regular attendance at the internationally-famous San Diego ComiCon. At that time, it was far smaller and one could simply show up, purchase a ticket on the day and, if you arrived at opening, could easily access the exhibit floor. In addition, the panels were never particularly full and it was a matter of ease to stroll right on in.

Then in the mid-oughts, the Hollywood movie studios came in to use the event to pimp their comic, sci-fi and related projects. This was an inflection point as the studios wisely trotted out their sundry stars like Harrison Ford or Hugh Jackman and, as such, the principal focus shifted away from comics and ticket sales surged. Within a couple of years, I now had to stand in line on the day for 3 hours to get my ticket, then it became standing in line for 3 hours to pick up the ticket I had purchased online nearly a year in advance. Then it became so bad the next year would sell out while the current show was occurring. At that point, I stopped going altogether.

So I was extremely excited when some friends asked if I wanted to go to the Rose City Comic Con. I got my pass online in March and counted the days. I was so hopeful that the much smaller convention in Portland would be somewhat akin to the glory days of San Diego. I was also eager to experience the city of Portland as, oddly, while I’ve spent a good deal of time in the airport, I’d never been on the ground so to speak.

A LAMENT FOR PORTLANDIA

So we loaded up the car and off we went. 7 hours later we arrived in Portland. And what a tremendous shock it turned out to be. My first impressions were far from favorable. It looked as if someone had taken LA’s Skid Row and made an entire city out of it. And then piped in the wretched stench and refuse of Beijing and, as a finishing touch, infused the atmosphere with a unique blend of body odor and pot.

I have been to hundreds of cities all over the planet and next to Beijing, Portland is the most awful and filthy. I was totally crestfallen. In 5 days I did not see one garbage receptacle that was not overflowing into the street, there were several instances of human excrement on the sidewalk, and it seemed as if every flat surface had been littered with graffiti. The fact that every single public, retail and restaurant bathroom has a coded keypad required for entry does a pretty decent job of informing one about the state of Portland. Equally horrendous and sad.

I also found the denizens to be somewhat of an interesting species. It seemed as if everyone I encountered was competing in a perennial “Who is the Coolest, Most Hip Person in Portland” contest. It was painful to observe the obvious affectation. Everyone just seemed to be trying so hard. Anyway, the hotel was nice and only a block or so away from the convention center, so after a great meal, it was off to bed to get ready for the opening on Friday.

CULINARY INSANITY

What I did find most impressive about Portland was the abundance of amazing food. It seems a bit incongruous with the rest of the city experience, but I ate exceedingly well, if not particularly healthy. I’m positively certain I’m several pounds heavier and my cholesterol levels jacked after 5 days of culinary insanity. Given that this adventure was, effectively, the first “real” vacation I’ve had since 2018, I threw all caution to the wind and went more than a bit hog wild. From amazing southern cuisine, to hamburgers with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns to over-the-top gourmet pizza to gravy drenched fries and biscuits, it was definitely game on. People did share with me in advance that Portland has great eats and they were dead on.

GET YOUR CON ON!

Unlike the general city of Portland, the convention center is exceptionally nice. As we walked toward the twin spires, we were joined by all manner of fellow nerds ready for 3 days of comic mayhem. Just like I had hoped, the con was very well attended, but not at all overrun, particularly on Day 1. Lots of great cosplay to be seen and it’s always good fun to see the level of imagination, ingenuity and craftsmanship people put into their outfits. Its been fun to watch the world of cosplay evolve over the years, with seemingly most costumes being at studio-level quality.

The exhibit hall had an amazing selection of vendors selling everything imaginable. Whatever your particular area of fandom is, there were plenty of places to spend your hard-earned coin. What I found especially unique at Rose City was the comparatively massive “Artists Alley” section which is comprised of individual and independent artists. Staggeringly, I would estimate it at 2-3 times larger than the one in San Diego. In any event, it was a thrill to meet and interact with so many talented artists and help support their creative endeavors.

Overall, it was an absolutely stellar experience. Extremely well organized, an ideal number of attendees, great panels, tons to see and do and in a perfect venue. There were even comics to be had! It has absolutely rekindled my zest for comic-related conventions and I am now toying with the idea of attending the Emerald City con in Seattle later this year. While far larger than Portland, it still remains much smaller than San Diego. In any event, I’m already getting excited to return to the Rose City convention next year!

I returned home yesterday to quickly recover and pack for the next leg of “Fates on Tour” and am headed back down to So. Cal. today, specifically Catalina Island for a week of beach lounging, kayak-fishing and camping. Can’t wait as the amazing adventure continues to unfold.

See you on the beach!