FIRE Aethernaut, Mr. Fate, further documents the soaring highs and epic lows of the endeavor to reunite his punk band after a 25-year hiatus for one last tour in Part 2 of the Rock N’ Roll Zero Series.
OCTOBER COMING FIRE
What follows is a series of journal entries written in real-time, according to the corresponding date, throughout the band reunion timeline. Note: The names of band members have been assigned to their respective musical contribution: Vox, Guitar, Drums.
June 29, 2019: I found another couple of cassettes and drove to Guitar’s house for further listening. Now we were both getting our collective fire stoked on getting the band back together. Guitar’s pal had just launched a music magazine and we are scheduled to be featured, so the timing cannot be better.
June 30, 2019: Guitar is now worried as he’s not played at all for nearly 15 years. My response, “Then start practicing like a mad, my man, because we’re doing this.”
July 4, 2019: Went to a 4th of July street party with Guitar. I asked again, if he’s still interested in the project and if he’s attempted to practice yet. He answers in the affirmative to the former and negative to later. While marginally passing this “test,” I know I can begin to get Vox involved and start the search for a drummer.
July 15, 2019: I called Vox, who also still lives in town and chat with him infrequently. I tell him the story and if he’s down for a band reunion. A bit surprisingly, he says that he’d be into it. However, and as predicted, he begins immediately to become concerned about the quality of his voice and I can begin to sense a bit of trepidation. He then inquires as to who is playing drums as none of us a) talk to our original drummer and b) want to play with him even if we did.
July 20, 2019: I call Drums with whom I played in my most recent band who is an ace drummer and a fantastic guy. I was actually a bit nervous since we’ve not played together or even spoken for 8 years, but left on awesome terms. Even without speaking for all that time, he said he’s in. I’m elated! This is insane. All members are committed and enthusiastic. This may actually really happen. Now comes the initial challenges: 1) Getting my gear out and my chops up after 8 years of not playing and 2) Putting on the old “Band Leader” hat (which I do not particularly like). My work’s definitely cut out for me.
July 27, 2019: It took a bit of time to locate and otherwise assemble all of my gear. Basses in one place, amp in another, electronics somewhere else, while the sundry cords, adapters, and miscellany have seemingly skittered off. I was forced, begrudgingly, to make a trip to the dreaded Guitar Center to acquire the necessary accouterments before setting up shop in my downstairs office.
I picked up my bass, pulled the strap over my head and plugged in for the first time in what feels like forever. I hit the tuning function on my processor and was absolutely floored! She’s still in perfect tune even after all these years. A prodigiously positive omen if ever there was one. Let’s bring it!
Cut to 45 minutes later where I’m am now on the floor having totally forgotten how to operate, let alone program, my processor while tethered to 20” ancient Virgin Airlines throwaway in-flight headphones in a vain attempt to hear myself play because I can’t find my pro gear. Even worse? I can’t even begin to make out the notes or structure of the songs amid the white noise of the poor recordings emanating from my beat-up 1992 portable analog tape player. This is the least rock n’ roll, I’ve ever felt. If there ever was a sequel to Spinal Tap, this scene would be a perfect addition.
July 28, 2019: Despite yesterday’s rough, tumble and humble beginnings, I made another concerted attempt. Rather than all of the unnecessary complexity of both current and past technologies, I devised a new stratagem – simply plug the guitar direct into the amp and then just attempt to remember the songs after listening to MP3 versions.
This, however, became more than a bit frustrating out of the gate as I attempted to play while listening and rapidly got twisted and lost in the poor recordings. Moreover, when an analog recording is converted to a digital format and then compressed into an MP3 file and put on a telephone and listened to via a wireless Bluetooth connection to ear buds, it ceases to become music at all. It didn’t even sound like a band I recognized, poor recording notwithstanding.
After about 20 minutes of this, I stood there and thought to myself, “You wrote these songs and played them hundreds of times, man. Sure, it’s been awhile, but just close your eyes, relax and play – it will all come back.” While the notion of “muscle memory” is, in fact, untrue, subconscious memory is very real. And after some deep breaths, a metronome, and nothing else – all those songs came rushing right back. And it sounded – well, it actually sounded pretty damn amazing.
A fire has been rekindled from previously dead ashes.
July 29, 2019: It took more than a few hours to shake the rust off, but this is punk rock and my most recent band was infinitely more complex and technically challenging, so the chops required for this venture are about ready to go. My smile of glory and satisfaction is vaporized as I realized that Guitar had not played at all for about 25 years. I’d better give him a call to see how he was coming along.
July 30, 2019: (Call to Guitar):
Me: “Hey, man! Just got the gear out and went through the old set. Sounds pretty good.”
Guitar: “Cool, looking forward to getting back in the studio”
Me: “Um, yeah – it took me a while to get it all buttoned up, so maybe we should get together in advance to get everything dialed-in, so we’re not re-learning everything in the studio. How have you been faring on getting your chops back?
Guitar: “Good idea. I haven’t done anything.”
Me: Sigh (to self)
Clearly, it was going to be a long way back home.
August 2, 2019: Guitar cancels practice.
August 9, 2019: Guitar cancels practice.
August 11, 2019: First practice with Guitar today. His guitar is out of tune. No tuner. Cords are frayed and bad. Primary effects pedal is broken. Backup pedal is (seemingly) broken. First, it needs a new battery and then to be plugged in correctly. Strings on guitar needed to be replaced about 10 years ago. We actually practiced in his small bedroom. With shitty practice amps making horrific sounds. All we needed was some cheap doob and it would have been a total, realistic flashback to my teens. It is so utterly ridiculous it transcends the absurd to become surreal! We’re past middle age! Why am I doing this? This is going to be an abject shit-show.
August 14, 2019: Guitar cancels practice.
August 16, 2019: Well, that was better than Sunday with a ton of rust flying in that small room, but we managed to make some headway of sorts. We got about half the song structures re-learned. My favorite was Guitar bleating to me, “I don’t like those two songs – at all. They suck!” My response, “Well you wrote them, dude. What can I say, you should have been a better musician when you were 22. Anyway, people like them so they’re staying in.”
Overall, the endeavor was worthwhile as Guitar quickly cottoned to the fact that he was well out of shape and needed lots of practice prior to our first “real rehearsal” with the entirety of the band. I had to go out of town for a few days the next morning, but said to Guitar, “Be sure to practice each day. Just run through the set once a day and listen to it while you’re driving to and from work, yeah?”
August 23 2019: Before my return plane even hits the gate I call Guitar and asked how his individual practice sessions went while I was gone. His response, “Well, I didn’t practice at all.” I really can’t say I was surprised. We then get on a schedule he can work with.
August 24, 2019: What with all the issues so far, I was a bit concerned as to how Vox and Drums were coming along (or not), I gave them each a ring today. Both assure me that they are prepared and ready to rock. I inform them that I still need time with Guitar to get the set dialed in.
August 30, 2019: Did two long practice sessions with Guitar this week and I can confirm that we’re tight enough to get everyone together in the studio to bring the rock.
August 31, 2019: I begin the excruciatingly painful process of attempting to get 4 middle-aged men with families, kids, careers, pets and other outside interests together for one long evening session by sending a text asking for availability. As predicted, there is no overlap of the 4 Venn diagrams. I’m frustrated, so I just decide to ignore this key chore for another 72 hours.
September 3, 2019: We, somehow, narrow down a time for next Tuesday at starting at 6pm. I find this odd since Vox, Guitar and Drums all work and can’t quite figure how we can start on time, but, okay, I booked the expensive, non-refundable studio time anyway and hope for the best.
September 10, 2019: So, after over 2 months of preparation, we’re set to finally reunite tonight after a quarter century of silence. I’m keyed up and so looking forward to it. I’ve not felt this giddy in ages. This ought to be awesome!
September 11, 2019: Well, we did it! Resurrection has occurred! My ears are still ringing and every muscle in my body is aflame, but it actually happened, albeit barely. Things got off to an iffy start with Drums sending me a text about if I had PayPal, which having played with him in a band for over 10 years, I knew there was likely going to be a money issue.
Then Guitar calls me and says I need to pick both him and Vox up. I’m not particularly elated about being a non-volitional chauffeur, but okay, not a big deal. I tell him, that I’ll be at his place at 5:45 giving no leeway for getting us to the studio by 6. I then get texts from everyone saying that they are all late and now phone studio to make them aware, but we’re still on the hook for paying for the time. I pick up Guitar and Vox and we’re halfway to the studio when Guitar begins to throw a tantrum about not having beer and reading glasses. Suppressing my frustration, I say nothing and turn around to head back to his place.
Nearly an hour late, we get into the studio and begin to set up. Drums says, that he only listened to the songs once and couldn’t make out the parts, but says he’ll fake it and just to nod to signal any changes in the tune. With any other drummer, I’d have been outraged, but, like I said, I played with him for 10 years and know he can deliver. Vox also confesses that he listened to the songs a couple of times, but couldn’t make out or otherwise remember the vocals for most of the songs. Again, I’m not too perturbed as I know that he always remembers the vocal melody, even when blackout drunk, and gets through every song. Nevertheless, the reality is that half the band is effectively cold. Nevertheless, this is punk, so we just light it up and go for it anyway.
It’s difficult to describe the sheer volume and ferocity as we launched in to our first song. All of this interwoven with the immensity of the emotion of us playing together again and the sheer physicality of playing such fast, explosive music. And so it went. For nearly 3 hours, we gave all we had and then some. Soaked through our clothes in an air conditioned room, we dimmed the lights low and played an extended version of our signature cover song. And that was, as they say, that.
Needless to say, there were missed changes, fluctuating beats, sounds rather than words, but that was, altogether, rather trivial. What was of importance and meaning is that each of us individually, and all of us collectively, reconnected with a younger part of ourselves that was good, and pure, and true. This was not us trafficking in our own nostalgia, this was magic – potent magic – that had occurred.
EPILOGUE
There exists a few more journal entries, but any sharp reader with a functional knowledge of human nature, a modicum of perspicacity, and who followed the story arc likely knows what came next. However, for the purposes of closure to this epic tale, I will summarize it here.
While we each walked out of the studio with our blood, fire and enthusiasm at soaring heights, things quickly cooled. It began with more availability issues and canceled practice sessions that culminated with my acknowledgment that only unless I drove this project by sheer force of will, would it be a viable and sustainable proposition. It was clear, that we needed weekly rehearsals for, at least, 6 months before we would be in fighting form for a public appearance and I had a 2-3 month deadline before we were relocating, so that was a significant hurdle in itself. In all honesty, I simply just didn’t want to force or drag friends into something they were not completely committed to. To that end, I let them each know that while our reunion was one of the most magnificent moments in my life, I was not going to move any further with the project.
There would be no tour, no farewell show, no more of our band. And, that was okay. We did what we set out to do and we made the dead walls of that room shudder and reverberate with our music and our souls and that was more than enough. The gods are aware that we are still here.
Throughout all of this, I learned quite a bit. The biggest lesson for me is the personal realization that I am still capable of generating blistering sonic intensity; still capable of ripping the stars from the skies; still capable of creating art in which I can discover my soul. Something has awoken inside me that had long been declared dead. After 8 years of silence, there is no way I’m stopping now…
MORE ROCK N’ ROLL ZERO IN 2020!
Thanks for all the great feedback on the Rock N’ Roll Zero series. We’ll pick it up again in 2020 to document the birth of my new music project.