I recently read a couple of articles by younger FIRE bloggers which got me thinking about what it must be like to be newly exposed to and excited by the proposition of financial independence (or even financial betterment). What with all the zillions of websites, blogs, books, ‘personalities,’ etc., where does one actually start? It must feel like a monumentally overwhelming endeavor just to make sense of it all, acquire legitimate information and begin one’s journey.

I will concede that there does, in fact, exist quite a wealth of information out there, but the reality is this – most of it is complete and utter crap and the landscape is riddled with fallacy to the point of farce. In fact, the original title for this article was “The Bullshit & Buffoonery of FIRE,” because, frankly, that accurately characterizes the overwhelming majority of it. However, in light of the fact that my 4 readers are accustomed to a more refined tone and language, I opted for the current title.

It got me meditating on my FI journey, specifically reflecting back on myself as a young, eager investor who, at the ripe age of twenty-one, consistently espoused the mantra, “My number one career goal is to not have a career as quickly as possible.” I certainly possessed an acute focus smothered in the drive and boundless enthusiasm that only young adults seem to exemplify, but beyond that, I didn’t have much else. Obviously, I was able to figure it out over time. Sometimes learning was easy, oftentimes it was a result of bumbling about or just simply failing.

That was quite a while back, and in looking through the rear-view mirror of my journey, it is evident there were some pretty obvious things that I embraced that helped and others I avoided that did the same. So, dear reader, forthwith follows a missive to my younger self that captures my musings on how to successfully begin and achieve both financial betterment and independence while avoiding all the fallacy, farce, buffoons and bullshit.

AS EASY AS BEING FIT & HEALTHY

Let’s start with the good news. Actually, it’s great news. Becoming financially improved or independent is remarkably elementary. Fundamentally, it’s as easy as being fit and healthy. However, just like the inexhaustible cavalcade of theories, programs, and bizarre treatments like squid-ink enemas and such from crackpot shysters on how to lose weight and stay fit, sadly, the same exists in the FI and early retirement space. But you need to just bypass all that nonsense.

At it’s core, the formula is staggeringly facile – avoid the ridiculous and unnecessary, be sensible and expend a modicum of energy.

Specifically, in the case of financial improvement & independence: don’t buy stupid, unnecessary stuff; spend your money in a prudent, responsible fashion; and consistently invest. Do that, day-in-day-out, and you are guaranteed to get results. As you can see, the real barrier to success is discipline and intrinsic motivation. Period. Stay relentlessly focused on that.

MASTER THEORY & FUNDAMENTALS

Okay, Young Fate, now that you’ve got the principal formula, let’s dig a bit deeper into the basics of investing. As you’ll quickly learn in life, mastering theory is an essential prerequisite for success in pretty much everything. If you don’t know or understand the theory, you are both useless and hideously unqualified. You’ll be delighted to hear that, again, getting up to speed on this is not a particularly grueling task. In fact, it’s pretty fun.

Be sure to spend time studying economic theory and the basics of investing. You’ll end up doing this at both an undergraduate and graduate level, but it’s not necessary since all those books you’re going to read are available via your local library. As for the basics of investing? Same deal – stick to the legitimate ones, like those written by economists with PhD’s or investment titans. I’ll suggest, Graham’s, “The Intelligent Investor,” Buffett’s “Essays,” Malkiel’s “A Random Walk Down Wall Street,” and Bogle’s “The Little Book of Common Sense.” Actually, I’ll add Shiller’s “Irrational Exuberance” to get a keen sense of how dummies behave during ‘bubble times.’ Honestly, after you’ve got those down, you pretty much have it.

DON’T OVER COMPLICATE IT

Here’s another dose of reality – there really are only a handful of tried and true investment vehicles. Stick with those. Just like the aforementioned squid-ink enemas in the weight loss arena, you’ll end up seeing a vast array of insanely comical investment products, many of which are so complex that they are not able to even be described. These products are for those who are deluded from their own idiocy (aka the-soon-to-be-bankrupt). If it ain’t in Graham’s book or if Buffett doesn’t do it, stay away. None of this is particularly complicated, but there are many who would like it to be that way, mostly because they are attempting to take a dollar from your pocket to put it in theirs. Which leads us to…

BEWARE OF FALSE PROPHETS

You’ll see when the ‘FIRE Movement’ comes along that it is populated by some pretty fine folks. However, it is also rife with unmitigated, unqualified, self-promoting charlatans encased in a putrid cocoon of sales slime. Ofttimes they deftly conceal their disingenuous intent, however, there exist a couple of tools and tactics to detect and expose them.

If they have a publicist, a book deal with a non-academic publisher, have self-published a book (even worse, an e-book), offer coaching, charge for their time, are openly flogging any product or service, or have a dizzying-level of advertisements blinking about on their website, you can immediately assume that their primary motivation is, again, to take a dollar from your pocket to put it in theirs.

A safe operating assumption, like all forms of advertising, is that their principal motivation is to make money and they will do or say anything required to make that occur. To be fair, is this really true for all of these sorts? With perhaps about a 2% exception, yes it is.

SEEK SAGE MENTORS, THEN BECOME ONE

With the combination of a simple formula, informed by theory and using historically valid investment vehicles, you’re pretty much set. That said, what can really boost things is to have a sage mentor or two. By sage, I mean specifically wisdom that is borne by experience and success. In the context of financial independence & early retirement this means someone who has achieved both. They do exist, so seek them out. You will find that they are humble, willing to share and offer informed guidance. For free. In fact, they are the antithesis of those discussed above – they are the ones willing to take a dollar from their pockets and put it in yours. Once you are in a similar position, I encourage you to do the same.

Sadly, you will come to see that the ‘FIRE movement’ is abounding with those offering all manner of well-intended ideas and tools on how to become financially independent or retire early when they are currently not, thus making them both unqualified and highly unreliable. To paraphrase Star Wars’ Obi-Wan Kenobi at Mos Eisley, “These aren’t the ‘mentors’ you are looking for.”

To take advice on financial independence or early retirement from someone who is neither is tantamount to learning to fly a 747 from someone who does not have a commercial pilot license. In short, it makes them unqualified on anything other than two things: jack & shit.

Exercise independent thought or be poisoned by the herd? Your choice.

ESCHEW DOGMA – MULTIPLE PATHS TO THE SAME DESTINATION

While you, thankfully, will not experience much of this in the initial 10 years of your journey, you will, ultimately discover that when the ‘FIRE movement’ becomes a thing, there will, rather rapidly, coalesce a set of espoused ‘rules’ that will transmogrify into a peculiar specimen of dogma. There will be those who unceasingly demand that it is imperative to ‘Do A to get to B’. For example, you must subsist on ramen and King Cobra for years to have a savings rate of X%, you must have a certain asset allocation, you must only invest in index funds, you must have a certain financial amount by a specific age, you must obsess over spreadsheets & retirement calculators, yadda, yadda, yadda. You get the point. Young Fate, I know that you are already thinking that all of this is a load of crap. And you are correct.

The reality is that there a multiple paths to the same destination. What will end up working for you, may not be even remotely successful or right for someone else, so carve your own destiny by understanding all the approaches and tools and using them to achieve your unique circumstances and goals. You don’t have to eat ramen to save to buy a home. You, in fact, may have index funds, individual equity holdings, a source of income via a dividend portfolio and real estate holdings all at once. Bottom line – use your education and savvy to guide you to make it work and squelch the noise from dogmatic boners.

AN ATTEMPTED POLITICIZATION OF A MOVEMENT

I really hate to break it to you, but you know how there’s always some group of histrionic douche-bags who have an undying compulsion to politicize everything? Whelp, they ain’t going away. In fact, it’s going to get far, far worse as your life wears on. You see, there’s this thing called social media. Aww, just forget it and be sure to stay away from it like you do with TV. However, unlike TV, social media serves to make you both stupid and depressed simultaneously.

Anyway, you’re going to see the term ‘FIRE movement,’ which is, in fact, a subtle form of politicization driven predominantly by the media. While, I’ve used the term repeatedly in this missive, it is done intentionally as a set up for this simple point. There is no ‘movement,’ so don’t buy into that. It’s twaddle for twits. If you’re confused, please refer back to sections 3 and 4 above.

Next, your desire for and/or achieving financial independence or early retirement is not political. At all. In fact, it is extraordinarily personal. Hence the term, personal finance.

The act of choosing to save, invest and grow your money does not somehow create an obligation to make the world a better place or otherwise force a mandate of philanthropic benevolence. Anyone who says different is simply attempting to dupe you in to their own personal agenda.

That said, you should engage in those pursuits because they are worthy. But rather than being some poseur who types sanctimonious platitudes on a computer, just quietly go out and start a social enterprise and save some lives. You know when Dad says, “Walk the talk?” This is exactly what he means.

THIS AIN’T NO PARTY, NO PANACEA

I’m not quite sure how to tell you this, kid, but I happen to know the most important thing about financial independence. I also know that you do not. You’re likely going to find this, perhaps, a somewhat bitter kernel of knowledge, but here goes.

Having money or being financially independent does not solve all your problems. It ain’t the panacea that most of the globe believes. In fact, it does one thing and one thing only – it provides you with options. Don’t get bummed out or discouraged as this is quite a magnificent thing indeed. And while it certainly mitigates the worry of paying your electric bill next month, you are still on the hook for negotiating your life and all its other attendant components: health, love, relationships, growth, development, service to others, and, of course, the never-ending torrent of routine, banal tasks.

The goal remains an admirable and extraordinary one and, without question, is worth pursuing. Just don’t hoodwink yourself into believing it’s going to change either the challenge or joy of living your life very much.

LIFE IS MADE OF MEMORIES, NOT MONEY

So, you’ve got it all down now. Like I said initially, it’s not particularly complex or difficult so long as you are both disciplined and consistent. You will get results.

All that said, here’s the most important thing I can tell you. Life itself is a magical and wonderful journey and you should consider yourself exceedingly fortunate to have one.

Yes, your FI goal is worthwhile, but it should never, ever come at the expense of memorable moments, experiences, adventures and relationships. For these represent the elegant beauty, the quintessence, of life and are the things that make it truly worth living.

Always keep that top of mind. I’m here to tell you that you are in for a fantastic ride, Young Fate, so go out there and live life to its fullest and on your own terms. Pursue all of your goals with passion and excitement. Be kind, always try to do the right thing, and invite others to join your life as you join theirs.

Remember, this journey’s only one-way ticket long, so collect as many memories as you can and know the best of them can never be bought.

18 Replies to “THE FALLACIES & FARCE OF THE ‘FIRE MOVEMENT’

    • Mr. Fate

      Hey the BOW and thanks kindly for reading and stoping by to leave a comment. Agreed – experiences are always the primary priority in life!

  1. Caroline at Costa Rica FIRE

    Perhaps it’s b/c I came to FIRE late (in my 40’s) that I was happy to see all the media about it — it made the info easier to find and the breadth of the info made it easier to pick and choose what I was interested in. Sure, there is some fluff out there, but most of what I’ve seen has been helpful and at least written with helpful intent. If not, I just don’t read it b/c there are plenty of other blogs, publications, books to read.

    • Mr. Fate

      Hi Caroline! Thanks for stopping by to leave a comment. Yep, there are plenty of fine folk as well as decent material out there. As I detailed, there’s also a lot of junk, so it’s awesome to hear you’ve found the great stuff and pass on the other.

  2. alongthecamelride

    The politicization of EVERYTHING is exhausting. Even a local restaurant has politicized its menu – give me a break and let me eat in peace! I don’t bother patronize them anymore. That said, I do encourage others on this journey to give back along the way. There’s so much poverty in this country and throughout the world that it’s a good thing to help alleviate some of it for those legitimately struggling and suffering. I have no problem with FIRE bloggers who encourage others to give, but I’ve never had a thing for armchair activism. Social media is even more unbearable than usual right now.

    • Mr. Fate

      Hi Katie! Beautifully stated and I could not agree more. A politicized menu? Sigh!

      In my opinion, you don’t talk about doing the right thing, you simply do the right thing which is why I find the ‘armchair activists’ so infuriatingly insufferable.

  3. Dave @ Accidental FIRE

    As you said being financially healthy is like losing weight, the formulas for both couldn’t be simpler. But with 73% of Americans overweight, 40% obese, and most of them financial trainwrecks in debt, the ability to execute these simple formulas is obviously beyond the reach of most. That’s why I find the behavioral stuff so fascinating and write about it so often. If I could do life over again I think I might be a sociologist or behavioral psychologist. And I don’t have it all figured out either, but it’s amazing to see how things so easy to do on paper can be so hard in real life.

    • Mr. Fate

      You’d definitely make a pretty great behavioral psychologist or sociologist, that’s for sure. Yeah, it continues to fascinate me just how the easy formula stuff seems to be such an insurmountable challenge for we humans. Like Freddy mentions things, like grit, discipline and grind do seem to out of vogue. Plus, all the sedentary distractions like typing comment responses are far more appealing then the 5 miles I ought to be walking right now 😀

  4. Q-FI

    First off, that matchstick picture is bad ass. Then it always puts a smile on my face when a bad ass picture is followed up by an even more bad ass post! Hahaha.

    Man, just all around greatness in this one. I know you and I see eye on a lot of things and you pretty much sum up all of my thoughts. I think this would be a great starting point for any new FI seeking aspirant. There’s just no need for the dogma and it always leaves me scratching my head.

    “Live is made of memories, not money.” Superb one-liner.

    And you hit home the mentor part, which I rarely see mentioned. Seek out those who have achieved what you aim to do, not those who talk about it. That’s always been a big one for me, and you’ve definitely provided great advice and mentoring to me over the short time that I’ve blogged. I’m looking forward to some more great interactions and learning to come. Thanks for putting in the time and writing this one Mr. Fate.

    • Mr. Fate

      Thanks much Q-FI. Yeah, that snap is about perfect! Glad you enjoyed the read and the 1 liner 😎

      Yep, the mentor thing is weird. It seems like folks have confused legit mentors with “influencers.” Everyone knows there are multi-millionaires next door but no one seems to knock. Strange…

      I’m grateful you’ve got some small snippet of value out my nonsense and I’d say the same for yours.

  5. Steveark

    Excellently said. Of course I’m a boomer so OK. But it does amuse me when millennials who haven’t achieved much yet write books of advice on all manner of personal finance and life optimization techniques. Really? Well they are much smarter than me, I’m still trying to figure life out in my sixties. But I did figure out money and career and I limit my advice pretty much to those two, sometimes a little on raising kids, but not often. And I really am getting tired of every other blog including in it moral and social advice that I “have” to take or I’m a bad person. I guess I’m fine with being bad in that case. I’m sixty plus so “Get off my lawn you keepers of the moral flame!!!” But you don’t do that, you just lay out cogent thoughtful prose. If we could just get that to catch on with the younger crowd. Man, I’m getting cranky!

    • Mr. Fate

      Hey Steve and thanks for the kind words – I appreciate it. I agree with your sentiments completely. It’ll be interesting to see if this article gets picked up. We’ll see.

      I, too, have massive issues with the ‘keyboard warriors’ who type a lot about how we all ‘need to do X’ and who have no document of demonstrated action. I want to see meaningful, measurable, verifiable results before you start cranking out ludicrous directives at the world.

      Oh well, like I said to Freddy, I hope at least one young investor gets some value out of this. Perhaps they may reach out to folks like us to have actually achieved the goal for advice which I’m always happy to provide. A guy can dare to dream.

  6. freddy smidlap

    there is a popular sign in new orleans establishments that says “be nice or leave.” for me that sums up moral obligation. i just read some political dogma from a prominent fake FIRE blogger that just about had me heaving up my lunch. i respect having a position but the big BUT for me is the need to take every single opportunity to spread this sanctimonious bullshot. every conversation does not need to turn to your f’ing agenda, dimwit! if the goal is to do that to the extent it drives intelligent people in the opposite direction then it’s working.

    you included shysters and douche-bags and i vote to not forget dildos, sh1t merchants, and jagoffs. if only the younger set who truly want to better themselves could spread their attention to those who have already achieved something. i wouldn’t say don’t read the big marketed blogs but just branch out a little and you might learn something useful. i never wanted to be part of this club even if they would have me as a member but am happy to share what has worked and what has not so a younger version of me might take an easier way than mine.

    last thing: you mention doing something like investing consistently and that’s huge overlooked deal. it’s like early on paid work that might not be rewarding and all sunshine and rainbows. do it anyways. i swear staying power and grit are becoming endangered species. keep showing up. your financial independence will not be built in a week or a month. this my favorite post i’ve read in a long time. i could comment another 1000 words but it’s your blog. well done, mr. fate.

    • Mr. Fate

      Thanks Freddy. As one of the few opinions I value, I take the comment as high praise.

      You’ll not be shocked to know (and have assuredly deduced) that the ‘prominent fake FIRE blogger’ you reference was the impetus for and target of the invective in the “Politicization” section for the very reasons you share. Keen readers will also see I take another 3 jabs elsewhere in the piece.

      I’ll concede I did miss a few other characters but I didn’t want to paint such a bleak picture for my younger self. Haha.

      Yep, the 1st rule of success is showing up. It’s the daily grind that brings success. If nothing else, I sincerely hope that 1 young FI aspirant reads this and it provides a morsel of insight. If not, I’m still glad it’s out there.

  7. Adam @ Brewing FIRE

    In my previous role, I was involved in a few nascent industries where there was a frenzy of activity, yet no one was actually making money selling product. We used to always joke that the only people profiting were the ones who organized the conferences and exhibits. Your story about the FIRE Shysters reminded me of that; the only people making money in the PF space are selling crap products to each other, and they should be avoided like the plague. Nice post, and great advice to your younger self!

    • Mr. Fate

      Thanks for the kind words, Steve ands glad you enjoyed the read. Yep, a lot of junk out there being peddled by charlatans, sadly this isn’t relegated to the FIRE space.

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