STRANGE, FIERCE JOY – MY MONTH WITHOUT A SCREEN

STRANGE, FIERCE JOY – MY MONTH WITHOUT A SCREEN

Self-styled FIRE Aethernaut, Mr. Fate, returns to report on the results of his month without a screen as part of Fates On Fire’s Total Blackout Project. No screens, no television, no internet, no computer, no social media, no apps, no email, no movies, no radio, no nothing – for the entire month of April.

THE TOTAL BLACKOUT PROJECT

The Total Blackout Project was inspired after reading an article by Marketwatch’s Personal Finance Editor, Quentin Fottrell entitled, “People Spend Most of Their Waking Hours Staring at Screens” wherein recent research found that American’s spend about 11 hours per day (77 hours per week) watching television & videos, computing, gaming, and, of course, the life-sucking activity of just aimlessly scrolling and swiping away on apps and the internet in general.

This figure actually shocked me. That’s a staggering amount of time and represents 70% of our entire waking life and is the equivalent of two full-time jobs. It got me to the question of whether it’s even possible to live a modern life without a screen, internet access, email and the like. I searched for some articles on others who may have done this, but they were very few and they all had provisos about using screens during the workday. While all noble efforts, these conditions mooted any sort of serious or legitimate investigation into the real matter at hand in my opinion. That’s when the concept for the Total Blackout Project began to germinate and, on the evening of March 31^st, I shut everything down and began the experiment.

As far as I am aware, I am the first person to have intentionally done this. Honestly, the simple abstinence aspect of the experiment actually seemed a tad too easy, a bit candy-ass, since anyone can simply turn everything off, hole-up & be an exile for a month. The real challenge and excitement here was no to just abstain, but to attempt to continue to live my usual daily life without any screens or connectivity.

DAY 1 – AN UNEXPECTED TETHER

An unexpected precursor to a month of learning came in the 5am darkness on April 1^st. I was unloading my kayak for a day of fishing when I noticed my fish-finder, essentially a computer with a nice screen and all, with the rest of my equipment. “Huh, this is going to be an interesting month,” I said to myself as I placed it back in the car. It was the first of many revelations of just how imperceptibly, albeit inextricably, tethered our lives are to technology and screens.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

While it should not have been any sort of surprise, the first thing I realized within the initial 48 hours, is that everyone is on their smartphone, computer or plopped in front of the tube – all the goddamn time. It’s one thing to intellectually comprehend this but, once you stop screen-gazing yourself to actually observe, it’s completely another to witness it – to really take it in. Seemingly, nearly everyone around me was in a state of active disengagement. Frankly, it was more than a little chilling and that feeling grew exponentially over the course of the month of my experiment. I began counting, and in any given situation, at any time, in any place, about 80% of the people I encountered in public were, in some way, pinned to a screen.

Interestingly, before the project I had finished an article that explored the concept of inattentional blindness, (being unable to see what is right in front of your eyes simply as a result of being focused on other stimuli) and how it adversely impacts our ability to objectively experience reality. What I found particularly intriguing, yet frustrating, is how we intentionally subject ourselves to inattentional blindness as function of our staring at screens, thereby further distorting our perception of of reality.

While I do not condone criminal behavior, the despondent reality is that any pickpocket in an urban area with a modicum of skill & temerity could net $10,000 a week – easily. Why? Because, generally speaking, nobody is fucking paying attention. After observing for a month just how pervasive this self-imposed obliviousness is, that chilling feeling slowly transformed in to something more resembling sadness.

THE SMARTPHONE & THE DAMAGE DONE

Aside from noticing the obvious fact that most everyone has their nose to a screen, what I also began to take note of is how people behave when there is no screen to stare at. Notwithstanding those actively engaged in a particular physical or outdoor activity, when people in settings like airports or standing in a queue were not looking at their phone, particularly when they were alone, they clearly appeared very uncomfortable or anxious. In my observations, most could not go more than a few minutes without taking it out or checking it.

I regretfully admit that I was a smoker in my early adulthood and, therefore, a drug addict. As a result however, I am eminently qualified to identify addicts by observing behavior and this was, precisely, what I was seeing. Intense cravings, myopic fixation, anxiousness, irritability, isolationism, and even withdrawal – it was all there, plain as day.

A recent study by Asurion, a global technology protection company, revealed that people check their phone every four minutes. And that 4 in 10 Americans would rather lose their voice for a day than lose their phone for 24 hours. Even if you doubt the credulity of my informal observations, the results of this study are fairly decisive – these are behaviors and decisions only an addict would engage in or make.

COMING DOWN & COPING

My own screen withdrawal symptoms, while not as severe as say “Trainspotting’s” Mark Renton, certainly caused me some turbulence. While the incident with the fish-finder was the first pang, it was not nearly the last. Did I have an overwhelming compulsion to check my phone? Yep. How about a dire need to jump on Facebook or Twitter to check to see what friends and strangers are up to? Affirmative. But the siren’s song for news of the financial markets nearly brought me to my knees. I consider myself a pretty self-aware dude, but I was a bit blindsided as to the severity of my own screen fever.

After a few days things got better as they generally do in these sorts of situations. The cravings dissipated and then evaporated by the end of the first week. Now, here I was clearheaded, clean and faced with having to cope with living my usual life without a screen. The first real test came on day 6 when I had to make an unexpected plane trip. Shit! I can’t even remember a single time I ever bought a plane ticket offline; was it even possible these days? I had to sleep on it before the answer came: “Hello, Southwest Airlines. I’m a status customer and am temporarily unable to see well. Can you assist with securing me a ticket, but give me the online price?” While admittedly a bit disingenuous, it worked without a hitch. So did going to the desk at the airport to get a paper boarding pass.

There were more examples, like checking the weather, getting directions, having access to immediate data via the internet for learning to repair drywall and many others. The bottom line on the above, is that if someone could not tell me in person or on the phone, I just didn’t bother. You know what? After 10 days of this something magic began to occur…

A STRANGE, FIERCE JOY

As the need to be near a screen or otherwise connected slowly dissolved, I began to feel different; more present, more focused. It felt as if some burden had been lifted. The world around me began to sharpen; my senses more alive. Words fail to do justice to this feeling, but the closest I can get is that it was a strange, fierce joy. Some extraordinarily potent version of raw, pure tranquility. And I had never quite experienced it like this.

I felt unfettered, unadulterated, complete and absolute.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?

While the abstinence aspect of my experiment was clearly a large driver in creating this strange, fierce joy, so was the way in which I spent my time. Unencumbered by the statistical 11 hours a day of screen-gazing, my time was a blank canvas in which I could pursue or do anything I wanted and it seemed to easily fall into a few broad categories:

RELATIONSHIPS AND CONNECTIONS

Humans are wired for and require socialization and relationships to survive and thrive, so, without question, the most meaningful and enjoyable benefit of the Total Blackout Project was real-time connecting with family & friends, both new & old, and nurturing relationships. Whether it was visiting parents, playing board games with buddies, seeing live music, community events, fishing tournaments, books clubs or just chasing the Fuzzy Fates about the house, they were all special and wonderful moments. I am disappointed that I didn’t keep better track of the actual hours spent in the company of others, but it was in excess of quadruple the time I generally do.

INTO THE GREAT WIDE OPEN

April was a fantastic month for being outdoors and outdoors I was. I did track this and, on average, I was outside nearly 4 hours each day engaged in all manner of activity. This spanned the gamut of walking, hiking, kayaking, house chores, fishing, and just sitting listening to the leaves rustle in the wind. There were more than a few days where I spent over 8 hours outside. As I stated, I was more present, focused and alive, therefore able to see amazing things that I would otherwise usually miss. Schools of fish below the surface of water in my kayak, animal tracks off the trail, birds soaring on the thermals are a few examples.

READING & WRITING

As usual, I read a lot. A total of 13 books during the month which is just slightly above average for me. However, what was not usual, is the amount of writing I did and it was also pleasantly diversified. I wrote & outlined more than a few future Fates On Fire articles. This was to be expected, but I was also feverishly filling up my notebook with things I wanted to know that I’d usually look up on the internet to save for May. I was making lists of other ideas and notions. I was logging dreams (which were much more vivid and interesting during April) .

Most surprising was that after 2 weeks of this strange, fierce joy my head began to fill with stories. I’ve written fictions in the past and was planning on doing more in the next few years, but here they came – unexpectedly trickling out and I began to capture as many as I could. I was able to plot 3 short stories, a children’s book, a even the better part of a silly poem for my wife. By May 1^st my hand writing muscles were in their best shape ever and, most importantly, I now feel very inspired as a writer beyond the work here at Fates On Fire.

BACK IN BUSINESS

Interestingly, a couple of business opportunities materialized from the aether which I decided to seize. One involved starting a business that ended up yielding about $5K in it’s initial month using my corporate skills and having a blast. The other was my finding some previously unreleased & alternatively mixed songs and videos from my former band and convincing the owner of the record company to release them as a special package early next year. Both were completely serendipitous, totally fun, and threw off a little unexpected scratch. Most important, they were all done in-person, on the phone and with paper – no screens required.

WHAT I LEARNED

The real value and powerful lesson of the Total Blackout Project is all about introspection and self-discovery. It was instrumental for me to better understand what is important in my life and the changes I can make to lead a more meaningful, less distracted life characterized by this newfound strange, fierce joy.

CH-CH-CHANGES

So, what are these changes specifically? Not surprisingly, they are principally centered on a significant reduction in screen-gazing to allow more time for relationships, connections, being outdoors, reading, writing and allowing space for new opportunities and experiences.

KILL YOUR TELEVISION

To be fair, unlike most American’s, I do not spend anything close to 35 hours a week in front of the tube. Going forward, I intend to make that closer to an annual limit. It’s just not a medium I’ve ever been enamored of, so no big whoop.

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA

After the initial 72-hour withdrawal period, my desire to post and like, and comment, and tweet and retweet, etc. on any social media platform pretty much evaporated. By the end of the month, I realized, as studies have shown, Facebook actually makes me sad. I’ll keep Messenger so I can catch up via text or video with my out of state/country pals, but I’ve no intent to log back into my account. I did miss Twitter as it’s mostly other FIRE bloggers and I enjoy seeing a wealth of new articles and information. That said, I’ll only be checking my account a few times a week as opposed to a zillion times a day.

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

Mr. Money Mustache, has consistently espoused the sage advice to avoid the daily news cycle. After a month without any news at all, I’d say to even avoid the monthly news cycle. Generally, I find it nothing more than fear-inducing hyperbole strategically designed to incite emotions. I don’t find it to be particularly pleasant and there’s nothing I can do to influence or change it. And, as Roddy Doyle stated,“it’s all the same shite everyday anyway.”

DID I ANSWER MY OWN QUESTION?

The overarching intent of the Total Blackout Project was to understand if it is possible to lead a modern life without a screen and, like most things in life, the answer depends. As I have proven, it most certainly can be done. However, if you are working a job of any sort, the short answer is likely, “No.” Even if your occupation is not desk-oriented, it, likely requires engaging with a screen in some capacity, even a minor one.

While that is the question I set out to answer, I realized that there is, in fact, a much better question to be asked. A significantly more salient one. That question is “Should I spend less than 77 hours a week of non-work, discretionary time staring at a screen?” The very simple and easy answer to that, in my opinion, is a a resounding, “Yes.”

As it’s been said, all we humans get exactly the same thing – we each get a lifetime. As it was for me, it might be worthwhile to truly examine how you are spending yours.

WHAT’S NEXT?

I’d love to hear your comments on the topic or my experiment, If you have done something similar, sharing your insights would be very welcome.