THE COUNTRY SQUIRE CHRONICLES: DEPARTURES

Fates On Fire proudly introduces “The Country Squire Chronicles,” a new series documenting the adventures of moving to and living in a small rural hamlet in the Washington countryside.

A CALM BEFORE THE STORM

My last day on the briny blue of the Pacific ocean in my kayak as a California resident was perhaps one of the best days I ever had on the water.  After launching in grey light, I was treated to a spectacular sunrise hued with brilliant red and amber as I made my way out into the open water.  The skies were clear, the wind absent, and the seas dead calm.  It was like floating on a lake 2 miles off the coast of Newport Beach.  It was an awesome parting gift and I basked in it and enjoyed every minute, particularly as tomorrow would begin the 3 days of final packing and loading prior to departing forever to our new home in the Washington countryside.

I’M BAILIN’ OUT

When I originally contemplated the sundry strategies of physically moving ourselves and our worldly possessions, it became evident fairly quickly that doing it myself was, likely, going to be the option I’d choose.  Sure, it would be easy to simply swipe a credit card, step back and have the house packed, loaded and then magically apparate into our new one – no question.  However, aside from it being the most expensive option, it didn’t feel quite right to me for a couple of reasons.  First, given that I have no demands on my schedule that would prevent me from actually doing it and that I am physically capable, it was clearly the option for the indolent.  More importantly, it was the most adventurous option and it offered a sense of ritual – a ceremony of sorts – for me to close the current chapter of my life and begin anew.  And, indeed, it was truly an adventure.

HOW TO MOVE CROSS-COUNTRY FOR LESS THAN $2,900

Regular readers know that Fates On Fire is not a “how to” FIRE-oriented blog, but for the first time ever, I am doing just that.  I am going to share with you the not-so-secret ways to save thousands of dollars on your next long-distance move.  Ready to snap up these gems?  Here we go!

1. Don’t own a lot of stuff.  The principal cost basis for any type of move is weight.  The less you have, the less you’ll spend.  It’s that simple.  We are relative minimalists, so we knew we could get all our stuff into a 16 foot moving truck.
2. Do it yourself.  Duh.  If you have the time and an able body, this is a no brainer.  The serendipitous benefit is that while packing you realize how much utterly useless crap you own that needs to be donated for a tax deduction or given to someone who may need or otherwise appreciate it.
3. Find the right truck rental company.  There’s essentially 3 major, national moving truck rental companies: U-Haul, Budget & Penske.  I went with Penske for a two reasons: they had the newest, best maintained fleet and they offered a substantial AAA discount which put them at the top for both quality and price.  I got a virtually new truck with 30K miles and state of the art features for a little shy of $2000 on a 5-day rental including car towing trailer (with both tax & aforementioned discount).  Fuel ended up being about $600 for the 1500 miles.
4. Leverage discounts.  This, obviously, applies to any  type of purchase, but the AAA discount alone saved about $250 and then I used accrued points from my prior life as a corporate bigwig for most of our hotel stays that saved another couple hundy as well using our cards to save on fuel costs as well as earn additional points for the future.  Also, because the empty weight of the truck was less than 15K pounds, all damage/liability insurance was covered under our current Geico plan, thereby saving $200 of coverage that you’d have to buy from Penske.
5. Do not own valuable and heavy specialty collections.  This is a sub-section of Point 1.  I intentionally used the phrase “relative minimalist” above because we own very valuable and extremely heavy book, music and art collections.  Because of their value, they could not be left behind and they constituted most of the approximate 4K of weight in the truck.  Honestly, if we did not have these, we probably could have moved in nothing more than a big van like a Sprinter or Transit.
6. Take the pain, but have a companion.  I decided to conquer the 1500 miles in 2 days of driving which meant about 13 hours of trip time each day which is brutal.  I’d done this previously, albeit not with a loaded 22K pound truck & towing car rig.  Logistics dictated that I did the trek solo. Yes, it was painful, but I’m a “Get it on and get it over with” type of guy, but not having someone else to share driving duties, or just be along for the ride, was a challenge and I would not do it again.

INAUSPICIOUS PORTENTS

As you may or may not know, Southern California does not generally get a lot of rain.  Moreover, to have consistent, unceasing rain over 8-10 hours virtually never occurs – except, of course, when it’s time to load your moving truck. It began raining at 7am when we picked up the Penske and did not stop until 4pm which happened to be literally 10 minutes after we finished.  Soggy, exhausted and sore, I climbed into bed after home delivering Del Taco for a 3am wake up call to start the journey.  At least the rain was gone, but I was to find there were more inauspicious portents on the horizon

I awoke to gale force winds – the dreaded Santa Anas had picked up overnight and were ravaging Southern California.  With a kiss from Ms. Fate, I set out at 3:30am into the darkness and howling winds.  The first leg to Medford, OR was the longest at 720 miles and the most arduous including 3 of the highest mountain passes in both states totaling over 12,000 feet of elevation.

ESCAPE VELOCITY

I wanted to get such an early start to get clear of the horrific LA traffic that begins shortly before 5am.  I also wanted some free and clear roads as I had never driven such a heavy truck while towing a car.  While the winds were fairly subdued getting to downtown, once I got East, they were merciless and were hitting the tall truck with such force it required immense focus just to keep the rig in the freeway lane. It didn’t help that it was also totally dark out.  Needless to say, only less than an hour in, I was wide awake, my veins coursing with adrenaline.  The adventure was on!

I feel comfortable saying that negotiating the 4144 feet that comprise the Tejon Pass, affectionately known as “The Grapevine” amid the wailing winds in pitch black is an experience I’d not recommend to the faint of heart – particularly going downhill.  The feeling of 22,000 pounds at your back succumbing to the law of gravity on a 6% grade is both surreal and harrowing.  This is precisely where I acquired a newfound respect for a top-of-the-line specialty transmission (again, why I went with Penske) and meditative breathing.  Ironically,  just as I cleared the final descent and the road leveled out, my morning tribulations were rewarded with a gorgeous sunrise and, most importantly, a flat stretch of road for the next 482 miles.

As I was to discover, the wind storm in So. Cal. extended all the way across the state and I battled it for the next 10 hours.  That said, after the trials of escaping LA, it was, pretty much a breeze (pun intended), but did require both hands on the wheel for constant corrective steering.  Things remained fairly easy until my next two mountain passes: Shasta and, quickly on its heels, Mount Ashland in Oregon.  Again, the experience of the morning made these a bit easier, but now having fully loaded, virtually unstoppable semis riding my ass downhill was a rather uncomfortable and anxiety inducing experience.  The scenery, however, was absolutely phenomenal and a nice way to end a tough day as I rolled into my hotel in Medford.

HOMEWARD BOUND

The next morning was interesting in that being exceedingly road weary form the prior day, I inadvertently locked the keys to the truck inside the cab at 5:30am.  This was a lifetime first for me and I felt like a complete moron.  I called Penske roadside assistance and within 15 minutes a local tow truck arrived and shimmied the lock and I was back in business (another reason I chose Penske).

The next day was slightly shorter and included no gnarly mountain passes.  I traveled to Portland  then across the state along the scenic Columbia river to pop into Washington on the lower East section.  Aside from the airport, I’d never been to Oregon and the route was spellbindingly beautiful, particularly the near 300 miles along the Columbia river.  I can see why over 2 million tourists a year make this drive.  Things were good and driving was easy until I finally arrived to Fate Estate in the early evening.  Whew, 1500 miles covered in less than 40 total hours. 

AT LONG LAST

While it was a brutal, exciting and surely an adventure for the books, it felt great to pull off the meandering back-country road and on to the drive.  Arriving did not only signify the end of the journey from Southern California, but the end of 25 years of dreaming of “retiring” early and moving to the Washington countryside.  It was no longer a dream; it was my new reality.  A lifetime of hard work, diligence, fortitude, delayed gratification and a bit of luck had all led to this very moment.  Words disobey, but suffice it to say it was emotionally overwhelming – a jubilation so fervent it is indescribable.  When I opened the door to take my first gaze of our recently finished home, I wept with sheer joy.  

After all those years, my dream is realized and, at long last, I am now finally, finally home.